By: Omar Sweidan
Like Kanye West on “30 Hours,” “I wake up assessing the damages” each morning as I hop out of bed and launch Instagram, eager to review the latest rounds of shots Kanye has fired towards Skete Davidson. So, you can only imagine my surprise when I find out that the media is labeling Kanye as crazy. But, after thinking about it for a while, it finally clicked. I realized that no media outlets are suited to understand the complex nuances behind this beef which creates the false impression that Kanye is the crazy one here. But luckily, The Centralizer isn’t like those other guys. Instead, it’s built different and more than qualified to discuss this matter. So, it’s finally time to stop and take a look at what Skete’s been doing. After all, all it takes is one quick glance to realize that Skete is the erratic one here.
Now, if Skete’s pretending to be a bird for his role in Angry Birds 2 wasn’t enough to convince you he’s at least a little bit looney, I want you to consider his outfit choices over the years. Between the mismatched neon Thrasher shirts, weird shorts to socks length ratios, and color-schemed outfits composed of colors that lay opposite of each other on the color wheel, Skete was responsible for the “Scumbro” era of fashion. Though it’s now out of style, at least I hope, we can not overlook its existence nonetheless. When it comes to Kanye on the other hand, it’s impossible to argue he’s done nothing but miracles on the fashion scene. Whether it’s his billion-dollar Yeezy industry, pink polo’s from the College Dropout era, or his flannel-centered outfits which continue to be mirrored by 1 in every 6 guys at Central in the Fall (we did the math), it’s clear to see that when it comes to fashion, Kanye has the upper hand and is much more rational than Skete.
If that isn’t enough to make you realize that Skete is the crazy one here, I want you to stop and recall that Kanye has declared himself as “this generation’s closest thing to Einstein” on one of his greatest tracks, “Saint Pablo.” I ask you to bear this in mind as we have flashbacks to a dark, troubling time: sophomore year’s geometry class. But, before we go there, I want to set some ground terms. Surely anyone who would argue with a genius like Einstein would have to be crazy, right? So, if this holds true, then by the transitive property (or symmetric, I never said I was any good at geometry), if Kanye is Einstein and arguing with Einstein is crazy, then Skete arguing with Kanye is crazy. So, once again we come to the same conclusion: Skete is the crazy one!
Finally, if all of that still wasn’t enough to convince you, I want you to consider this age-old adage I’m sure everyone has stumbled upon at least once in their Instagram phase that was marked with nothing but reposts of Pinterest quotes: “never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” By this reasoning, if you still believe that Kanye is crazy, then Skete is also crazy for participating in this beef with him! Though this concedes that Kanye is crazy, at the end of the day Skete is also recognized as crazy so I’m willing to accept this outcome (even if it erroneously flags Kanye as crazy.)