Hannah Koch (284)

Central’s Got Talent is a beloved tradition within the Central High School community – it’s an exciting hour and a half dedicated to showcasing the many wonderful talents and skills of Central’s faculty, and an exclusive event to say farewell to Central’s seniors. This year was certainly one for the history books. 

Ms. Yakov began the show with a piano rendition of “Three Italian Pieces”, which was when the auditorium first witnessed the harshness of their four 284 judges, giving Ms. Yakov’s brave performance a combination of sixes and sevens. However, the tables turned when Mr. Grow stepped onto the stage, streaming live on Tiktok as he was rushed along a standup comedy routine that received straight tens across the board, despite him being cut short. Mr. Myrick blessed the student body with his recital of “Meet Me At Our Spot”, while Mr. Zhang and Ms. Feven gave a lovely duo performance for the enjoyment of the audience, although the judges thought otherwise. Then came the headliner event: The Blazin’ Zak Attack Acts! The seniors were stunned as the sounds of “Basket Case” by Green Day, “My Hero” by The Foo Fighters, and “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana were performed by the talented Ms. Rendsburg, Mr. Martin, and Mr. Zak, respectively. As Senya Gaines-Ditto (284) so eloquently put it: “[These teachers are] all in the wrong profession.” 

Next was Mr. Nadel, with the unique gimmick of blending together three songs on his piano – “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen, “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande, and “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga – chosen at random by the judges, coming up with each transition on the spot. His act received three tens and a single nine, putting him in the running for the final podium. Mr. Smith amazed the audience by lifting a grand total of 385 lbs on stage, then Mr. Winegrad gave his own incredible recital of “No Children” by The Mountain Goats, performed on a ukulele. Earning tens across the board, Mr. Zak returned with the vocals of Ms. Chrissis to showcase their own version of Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso” with lyrics catered to the experience of a math teacher. Honorable mentions go to Mr. Humes’s reading of the Gettysburg Address while dressed up as Abraham Lincoln, a rendition of “Fly Eagles Fly”, performed by Mr. Horwitz, Mr. Graham, and Mr. Wenger, as well as a competition between AP Smith, AP Snyder, and a ninth grader in order to see who’s smartest — in the end, the assistant principals triumphed, but the students booed their victory, claiming the questions to be unfair: the judges agreed, and scored them poorly. To wrap everything up, Mr. Wenger graced the 284th graduating class of Central High School with his Oscar-worthy performance of Central’s school song, receiving four tens from the judges. 

In all, Mr. Grow received an honorable mention, Ms. Chrissis and Mr. Zak won third, Mr. Nadel and his piano won second, and of course, The Blazin’ Zak Attack Acts! went home with the gold medal. 285 is sure to have an equally – if not more – amazing showcase next year, and Central looks forward to continuing this tradition for its senior class for many years to come!